• Dannie (in Real Life)

    All work and no play makes Dannie a resentful girl.

    Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to work hard, and this is a painful realization to make. For most of my adult life I have been struggling to make enough money to be self-sufficient, but I have always been determined to do so. But after several years of a small hourly paycheck (that my retail-employed sister nearly matched), I told myself that I do not have to settle for being somebody’s peon forever. I do not have to settle for not having nice things forever. I do not have to settle for wasting away pushing paper and never being challenged, always being talked down to like an ignorant child forever. All of…

  • Fangirl-in-Chief

    If it’s not forever, if it’s just tonight, oh it’s still the greatest…

    You came out of nowhere Stealing my heart and brain Flaming my every cell You make me feel myself Klesla. Leclaire. Nash. MacLean. Brule. Filatov.  Last place, last place, last place. The joke is always on us. We are always the joke. That’s so Columbus. Why not us? 2009: too many men. Keep piling it on. Huselius, Commodore, Carter. All the things that never happened like they were meant to. A Cubs-like fascination with a mysterious curse. Hitchcock, Noel, Boucher, Arniel. Howson. The All Star Game that wasn’t. Thirteen years of being filled with excitement and hope, only to watch it all fall apart, watch it crash and burn. There’s no more…

  • Fangirl-in-Chief

    The one about how I met Jenny Lawson.

    I met The Bloggess yesterday. And it was awesome. Let me start by saying I suck at meeting famous people. I know, I know. It’s not like this is the President or The Beatles or something, she probably didn’t even have snipers on the top of the bookshelves, but there is a really good reason that I avoid autograph sessions and things like that. Even when it’s my favorite hockey player in the whole world (okay, especially when it’s my favorite hockey player in the whole world), I am like “heh heh, sign this please heh heh heh” and break out into hives like an asshole. So I usually just avoid the awkwardness…

  • Dannie (in Real Life)

    Who the f@#k is Frickin’ Dannie?

    She’s this girl who likes cats. A little bit like this girl, except I don’t usually cry about cats except when I go on vacation or when they claw my face off. (Love/hate relationship.) She also likes hockey, especially the Columbus Blue Jackets, and this pretty much sums up the love for my team. They may be the ass of a lot of (unfunny) jokes (because you people are not original herpderppenismascot), but you can’t take 2009 away from me. That team makes me cry more than cats do.  I have a big girl job, although I am not sure why anybody ever takes me seriously, because I can’t even…