It isn’t that I’ve forgotten about my blog, it’s just that I’m so freaking tired of writing papers all the time for school that writing for pleasure just doesn’t occur to me anymore. And I hate that, because I’ve had some pretty rad adventures, and I’m probably going to go back in time and share some of them with you. But my point is here: 13 days from now, I’ll go to my very last
undergraduate class (talk me out of grad school, please), give my last presentation, and take one last final as part of my capstone class. 31 days from now, I get to don my black cap and gown and finally take home my college diploma. I can’t even begin to explain how this feels; it’s a mix of excitement and relief (I get my real life back!) (what do normal people do with all of their time, anyway?) and nervousness (oh my god, I still have a 20-page paper to write and a presentation and a final and oh my god I just want to go to sleep but also hang out with my boyfriend).
When I was a kid, I was one of the smart ones. An overachiever. School was just too easy for me and I rarely felt challenged by it. I had big dreams as a kid of things like Harvard or Yale or something (this was before I knew that it cost a lot of money to get a college education). At 16, I took classes at the University of Cincinnati and was finally challenged because hey, I was sixteen and taking classes with adults. I applied to Xavier University and was accepted with a scholarship, but for a multitude of rea$on$, the college experience didn’t happen for me.
It crushed me. It weighed on me for years and years. I was devastated, because I was working dead-end jobs and I wanted a career. I had ideas and abilities and knew I had more to offer, but I was limited by the circumstances of my life. Despite a lifetime of hard work, I felt like I was stuck, destined to be low-wage hourly office help for the rest of my life.
And then one day I’d had enough. I wanted more and I deserved more.
So I went out and got it. I enrolled at the University of Cincinnati again in late 2011, and started back at school in January 2012, after something like 7 years away. I was going to get a business degree, damn it, and I was going to kick the shit out of some schoolwork. After a frustrating year and a half at UC, an even more frustrating year at Northern Kentucky University (never go there), I finally found a program that suited my need to work full-time during the day and take classes at night. The TAP program at Thomas More College wasn’t perfect, but it worked.
Two years later, I’m finally limping my way to the finish line. I’m in mile 25 of a marathon, and I can see the finish ahead of me, even if I’m about to stumble and roll downhill and every ounce of my brain is rejecting the thought of doing any more research oh my god stop learning new things I’m going to have to erase some NSYNC lyrics to make room for this!
I’m almost done, damn it! I’m taking a 3.93 GPA (to the 3 professors who gave me a B+, I hope fire ants invade your britches) into graduation and penning honor society memberships into my resume. The painful years of reduced social life, taking my books and computer on every trip I go on, and staying up way too late making group work look presentable are almost over!